*** You'd think after all these years
of swallowing his own bullshit, President Bush would be able to handle
*** Hey, it could have been worse. He
could've puked it all over a Prime Minister like some other President
Bush, who shall remain nameless.
*** Passing out like that probably
made Bush feel like a college kid again.
*** Who knew Mr. Salty's first name
*** Does anyone else remember the good
old days when presidents not only knew how to swallow but encouraged it
in others as well?
*** Overheard at the Enron boardroom:
"Say, Ken. Your last name's Lay, how would you say we screw our
*** Many ex-Enron employees look back
to the good old days when ENRON meant "Employees Net Return Of Nothing".
*** Everyone in both Washington and
Texas has had to recuse themselves from the Enron investigation because
they have Enron ties. With all the negative publicity surrounding
Enron, don't you think they could wear different ties for a while?
*** Doesn't "recuse me" sound like
something Scooby Doo would say after he did something wrong?
*** The Arthur Anderson accounting
firm insists there's not a shred of evidence linking themselves or
Enron to any wrongdoing. That's probably just because the paper
shredder jammed and they had to burn the incriminating documents.
*** I guess Enron execs follow one
guiding principle: Take The Money Enron.
*** Larry King has signed a $56
million dollar deal with CNN. Even after alimony that's a lot of money.
*** Hey, Minnie Driver! Have you
driven a Ford lately?
*** Britney Spears said, "Chocolate
for me is just like an orgasm." Something Justin never gives me.
*** A team of state police,
bomb-sniffing dogs and National Guard troops will be stationed near
Gobbler's Knob in Pennsylvania on Feb. 2 to ward off problems at this
year's Groundhog Day festivities. And if anything should go wrong ---
they'll just have to do it again, and again, and again. Until they get
*** Doesn't "Gobbler's Knob" sound
like a good title for the HBO Monica Lewinsky documentary?
*** Did anyone see that new Supreme
Court show "First Monday"? Well, the verdict is in: cancelled by "Third
*** "Snow Dogs" opened in theaters on
Friday. Who wants to see a movie about Linda Tripp and Marge Schott in
*** Now that "Survivor 3" has ended we
can all go back to our regular routines: not watching "Survivor 3".
*** Oprah has hit an all-time low:
eating on the toilet. Oh, and her ratings are dropping too.
*** Conan O'Brien got married. Thus
putting an end to his long string of "Late Nights".
*** Britain's Prince Harry has been
smoking pot. No wonder they call him "Your Highness".
*** K-Mart stock is now so worthless
it's only available as a Blue Light Special in aisle three.
*** "American Pie 2" was released on
DVD this week with 10 hours of extras. I can only assume these extra
scenes take place in a bakery.
*** Lastly, if Martin Luther King was
alive today, he'd probably still be upset that his son, Martin Luther
King, Jr. was assassinated.
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