| *** So, everyone’s talking about this new TV show
“Big Brother”. Ten people
locked in a house with cameras everywhere,
even in the bathroom. Hey, If wanna see someone taking a dump
I’ll go visit
Mom at the Home.
*** So, the new Mexican president
Vicente Fox says that
he’ll run Mexico like a business. He’ll burn it to the
ground and collect
*** Brendan Fraser has just been signed
to star as
“The Incredible Hulk”. That “Incredible Hunk”
as “The Incredible
Hulk”. It sounds too good to be true. I just hope they can at
least match the
special effects of the TV show. If so, I’m there opening day.
*** So, Sharon Stone says you won’t
seeing her bush in “Basic Instinct 2”. What did she do ---
shave it off?
*** The latest medical research says that
moderation is good for your health. Hey, I’ve been telling my
years they should drink more if they want to be as healthy as I am.
*** I wet the bed last night. My goddamn
is leaking again.
*** Heinz announced plans to release a
ketchup on the market. And they’re calling this
“new”? Hell, I’ve had
the same bottle of green ketchup in my refrigerator for the past twenty
It’s right next to the blue mustard.
*** You’ll never catch my kids
reading those Harry
Potter books. They’re retarded. I can’t even get them to
signs without needing a bookmark.
*** So, pop singer Mandy Moore says she
wants to be real
famous but she won’t wear any skimpy outfits to get there. All I
can say to
that is “Next!”
*** So, Bobby Brown just got released
Doesn’t this seem to happen every other month? He got
time off for good
behavior. Maybe if he demonstrated some of that “good
behavior” outside of
jail he wouldn’t have to go to jail in the first place. Oh, wait,
I forgot ---
he’s black. He could get arrested just for breathing wrong during
class. Never mind.
*** So, Bryant Gumbel called a guest a
idiot”. Hey, Bryant, don’t you think you’re being a
little harsh? I saw
the interview with Robert Knight from the Family Research Council.
man is an asshole. But a “fucking idiot”? If he’s a
fucking idiot, what
term do we use for Pat Buchanan?
*** Former game-show celebrity Charles
will be doing a one-man-show on Broadway based on his life in show-biz.
show will close in “BLANK” days.
*** So, according to Spike Lee,
“The Patriot” is an
inaccurate historical portrait because it has no slaves in it. Does
“Mandingo” a more accurate historical portrait because it
has slaves in it?
And, that’s that.
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