*** So, Al Gore’s running mate
is Joe Lieberman. Al
said, “When I think of Joe Lieberman words like
and “courage” come to mind.” Hillary Clinton said,
“When I think of Joe
Lieberman words like
“fucking”, “Jew”, and “bastard”
*** Apparently at least one 20/20 news
see straight. John Stossell based an entire report on scientific
never took place. I guess “journalism ethics” and
“news reporting” are
both oxymorons to Mr. Stossell. He was just making shit up. That
bastard! I rely
on people like John Stossell and Craig Kilborn to keep me informed on
happening out there. So, when something like this happens I gotta speak
Hopefully soon the phrase “20/20’s John Stossell”
will also be a
contradiction in terms. P.S. – “Made up shit”
sounds a lot like
what I imagine John Stossell’s wife looks like when she’s
ready for a night
on the town.
*** So, Tennessee (the state) has started
a “DO NOT
CALL” registry. If your name’s on the list telemarketers
are supposed to
remove your name from their records. I think they can save a lot of
money by just slapping “DO NOT CALL” stickers on all the
*** Having just executed a man with an IQ
of 60, Georgie
Bush now officially becomes “The Dumbest Man In Texas”.
Georgie! We knew you could do it.
*** There’s a big recall of
Firestone tires going on.
I remember my first Firestone tire --- tied to a tree, I’d swing
on it all day
long. Well, that’s what I recall.
*** A bunch of White House workers were
downloading porno. Hey, when you work at the White House you pretty
do what the President wants.
*** Here’s where Jennifer Aniston
and I differ: I’ve got
no problem seeing naked pictures of her in “Celebrity
*** So, jumbo comic Louie Anderson lost
bladder. That just seems careless. Are you sure it’s lost? There’s
a lot of Louie to look through.
*** I’m so dehydrated I’m
*** According to a new survey there are
more women than
men on the web. I’ll bet there’s still more men than women
in lesbian chat
*** Have you heard about the “Brown Orifice”? No,
not the Netscape hacker program. That’s what the kids were
calling me when we
went camping without toilet paper. Talk about roughing it.
*** According to someone somewhere, Joe
last words were, “I’m going to see Marilyn.” Many
have taken this to mean
he was looking forward to rejoining Marilyn Monroe in the afterlife.
he had no idea he was going to die and was just looking forward to an
Marilyn Manson concert.
*** How can Spike Lee put out a movie
Original Kings Of Comedy” and exclude Pauly Shore? Was he trying
to make sure
the other guys didn’t get overshadowed?
*** Did you hear about the elevator
accident at the
World Trade Center? I’m not sure there’s a joke here, but I
there’s a lawsuit.
And, that’s that.
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