*** So, Georgie Bush called a New York
Times reporter a "major league
asshole". It takes one to know one.
*** Adam Chlymer, the reporter in
question, responded to the remark by
profusely thanking Georgie for the bump up to the major leagues. His
official act as a "major league asshole" was to come out in full
support of Georgie Bush for president.
*** Georgie also said that he will
debate Al Gore on a prime time
"Meet The Press" even if Al Gore doesn't show up. That's my Georgie
--- always has been and always will be a master debater.
*** Did you hear about those teens
that killed that Chinese food delivery
guy just to get out of paying him? Even worse, an hour later they
wanted to kill
*** So, Mr. Scary Spice is divorcing
his wife because she got breast
implants. Hey, Jackass! You married a "Spice Girl"! That's short for
"Spice Channel Girl"! What were you expecting?
*** To a constipated guy like me, a
"shitload" just doesn't
sound like a whole lot.
*** If they don't lower the age of
consent soon, nobody's going to want to
be a teacher.
*** According to his daughter, J.D.
Salinger is a big proponent of urine
therapy and often made his kids drink urine. If my dad did that to me
*** Doesn't "Richard Hatch" sound like
a new euphemism for
*** Actor Brad Renfro (I'm not sure
who he is either) tried to steal a
yacht. "Is that a yacht in your pocket or are you just happy to see
me?" Next time, Brad, wear bigger pants.
*** I've got something in common with
those pre-historic Indian cannibals.
I like Indian food too.
*** Hugh Hefner is now dating four
women. You know what I call dating four
women at the same time? "Menage a tired."
*** According to a US Postal
Commission report, postal workers are no more
likely to "go postal" than any other workers. The report went on to
state that postal workers are "faster than a speeding bullet, more
than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound."
still advise keeping them away from guns, bullets, and others.
*** Former Superman Christopher Reeve
broke his leg while exercising. I
thought all he could do was blink and breathe. It seems like that
turned out to be almost as bad as Kryptonite.
*** Lastly, according to a recent
report, 29 million people have left the
internet for good. To all 29 million of them I'd just like to say:
"Goodbye, you bunch of big time major league assholes!"
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