*** You've all heard by now about the
Georgie Bush "subliminal"
attack ad wherein bureaucrats are equated with rats and rats with Al
I'm thinking subliminal must now mean honest. I think Webster's was the
officially make the connection between rats and bureaucrats. And
"bureaucratic rat"? Doesn't that sound like Al Gore's job description?
*** Al Gore made other news when he
ordered Hollywood to "clean up its
act." I really think he was just referring to Mickey Rourke. Hey,
Take a bath, will ya? When a politician whose neck deep in the muck and
smell you, you know you've got problems.
*** Hollywood has also been accused of
marketing its movies and video games
to teens, the very people who go to movies and play video games. What
were they thinking? Marketing to their market. It's criminal.
*** Due to his constant insistence on
taking his foot out of his mouth to
speak, there is current speculation that Georgie Bush (or as he prefers
called "Daddy") has dyslexia (or as Georgie calls it
"Daddy"). This is so unfair. It really is hard to put food on your
family, unless you tie them down first. And is we educating our
properly? Not in this case.
*** There's a pastry chef suing the
White House for sexual harassment. Wow,
now the whole building's getting in on the Clinton act. What could they
have been thinking? "It's 5AM. Time to make the donut-maker."
*** I'll bet Gloria Steinem finally
feels like a real woman now that she's
married. Now start fathering some children.
*** They've recently put up a statue
of Ralph Kramden in front of the New
York Port Authority bus terminal. I can't wait to see the statue of
Kramden they put on the moon.
*** Star Jones (the one on the View
you can't miss) says that she will begin
marketing plus-size clothes to women via the internet. Here's a
women who buy plus-size clothes still ask, "Does this make me look
*** Breast Fest 2000 recently took
place in Australia. 343 Australian women
were all breast-feeding at the same time. I'd say there are about 686
I'm interested in this story.
*** According to the latest tracking
studies, Rottweillers have now beat out
Pit Bulls as America's most deadliest dog breed. America's most
remains my mutt, Mr. Scruffles. Congratulations to all who entered.
There are no
real losers, just a lot of soiled sports.
*** Did you hear about that New Jersey
woman who was dead in her home for a
year before anyone noticed? The neighbors got a bit suspicious when
Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman spending every weekend at her
a bit more suspicious when all the teenage boys in town were talking
easy she was, even the dorks and dweebs. But it finally came to light
never renewed her subscription to "Modern Corpse" magazine.
*** Microsoft just released their new
Windows upgrade Windows Me and already
their are reports that it's loaded with bugs. A buggy Microsoft
Unbelievable! When will they start the malathion spraying campaigns at
*** Gwyneth Paltrow sings in this new
Karaoke movie "Duets". I
don't know about you, but I can never get drunk enough to truly
*** It's "Back to School" time and
there's been a lot of renewed
discussions on the subject of school uniforms. The whole idea of
scares me, so I'm generally opposed to the concept. But if they do make
mandatory I say they should make all school uniforms out of Kevlar.
and socks as well. You all remember what happened to Achilles?
*** Lastly, there's a controversial
anti-cock fighting bill that would ban
the interstate transfer of cocks. I never needed to go out of state to
good cock fight going. All I ever needed was a high school locker room
and a gym
teacher with a hard on.
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